A Demon's Regret - Theodore Story

All I wanted this morning was a coffee, and a small pastry with as much chocolate as possible; but I left with something of a higher price. I should have left once I met the beautiful eyes of an angel; should have wasted the hour to the next coffee shop. But no; I walked right up to this man. Dark skinned, mid 20s, hair white as starlight, eyes piercing but calm, and the stubble along his defined jawline quite alluring. I smiled to him, he smiled back and his eyes eyed me like I eyed him- and how I eyed that chocolate brownie.
I flirted, but I shouldn’t have. I laughed, but I shouldn’t have. I took the sample chocolate, I shouldn’t have. I should have looked away and paid the amount that I wanted. I should have told him I was married. I should have told him I have 5 kids. I should have told him I’m an incubus and can’t help myself. However I let him hand me the napkin with the small sweet chocolate on it, that was cursed with his phone number. I was the victim, he was the demon. I called him after work. We went on a date. We made love. Oh God damn me to Hell.
After I have sinned worse than I ever done in my years, I returned home to my husband. My husband I love so dear. My red-haired husband Randy; who I have 5 kids with. My sweetheart Randy who shows me affection daily, nightly, and looks to me with everything a husband should. He’s the angel, I’m the demon. I will not lie; I love Randy, but my nature of Hell is overpowering.
I am the son of a Incubus, son of a human. I feed off of love, sex, affection. It is my air, food, blood. But growing up with a Christian human mother, I have morals. I love and care for everyone I offer myself to. I am not like my father. I married Randy because it was right, not because I wanted to. I had children with him; I believed I could settle down. I was proven wrong. Every male I find lovable, I want to love. I want to take them, hold them, kiss them, and make them feel something no other can do but me. I’m married with kids I cannot think that way!
But I did, and I do. I do towards Morrea. An Archangel who left Heaven for the freedom of Earth. Earth the world of Hell and Heaven, where demons make love to Angels and both enjoy every last bit of it, without the heavens or the layers of earth judging love or pleasure or the thoughts of the damned. We may be free to love on Earth, but I am impressioned by my guilt. What if Randy can smell Morrea on me? What if Morrea can smell Randy on me? Will they both show up at my job? How can I cover up my lies? How can I tell Randy “I’m too tired tonight” because I was already ravished by another man? Is this fair to my kids? To my marriage? To Randy? To Morrea?
I JUST WANT TO SCREAM! Damn me to Hell, banish me to a prison of flames and my regret. Let me become fully demon, fully Satan’s spawn. Let me be lust! Let me be my heartless father! Let me burn at the stake, rid me of my sins and farther sins of my future. Just tell Randy, my babies, that I love them when I go for my sins. Once I don’t care about them but only skin against skin. Once family doesn’t matter, and I don’t remember them.

I’m sitting on the couch and Randy walks by and kisses the top of my head, flatting down my black curls for a second before moving on to make dinner. Okay. Think reasonable Theodore. You must tell them. Tell Randy that you love him, no matter what...Oh by the way, I’m sleeping with an Angel. Damnit, no good. ‘Randy, I’m sleeping with a man named Morrea. He’s an angel. But I don’t want you to think I don’t love you, or bored with you-’ I’m screwed. I’ll tell Morrea. I don’t want to lose him, but I’d rather lose him over my life, my family, myself.
Once a few days went by, I was making pancakes for Morrea after a night with him. My heart sped up as I was stirring the mix, the clumps smoothing out. My knuckles turning white as I’m clutching the whisk with fear, gaining the right wording, the courage to tell him. ‘Morrea, I’m Married’ or ‘You cool if I bang over peeps?’ God, I’m pathetic. Kill me now! Okay think, think, think, THINK GOD DAMMIT! I’m ripping the flesh off my lips, they burn from the air, from my tongue. The tongue that has been shared between men. The air heavily breathed by men of the night. Maybe they won’t kiss my lips if they are bleeding. If only I could do the same to- Think of a collusion! Cut it off with Morrea; you can’t balance this life. Don’t let your demon come out. Be human, human, human, HUMAN! Be the man your mom wanted you to be. Be God’s son, not enemy.
Oh who am I kidding?! My eyes are red from seeing lust, a tail on my behind from- well, yeah. Pointed ears from hearing the sounds of lust. see no Lust, touch no Lust, hear no Lust. Sex is my Savior, Lust is my God. I am an incubus- but I am Human. Maybe, just maybe...I can live a life of balancing both Heaven and Hell.
“Morrea,” I speak up and lock eyes with him. “How do you feel about me? Like, do you want a relationship, or just to be...well, this?”
Morrea smiles, a sly smile that was more seducing than any demons of intercourse. “Well, I’ll love to have more, but if this is all you want I’m fine with that too.”
“I’d like to have more.” I smile to him. “I’m an Incubus, so you know I can’t stay with just one person.” I frown as I stir the thickening mud of pancake mix. “Would you be okay if I slept with others?”
“Sure, just be careful about it.” Morrea smiles to me. “I understand your nature and I’m fine with that. If I wasn’t I would have been with you in the first place.”
This reassures me greatly, knowing that Morrea cares for me just as much as I care for him. So what he’s from Heaven, God’s son, and has wings to show for it; A demon and an angel can love each other.  “Well, with that out of the way,” I take a deep breath, stop stirring the pancakes and look up at Morrea. Here it comes. Our eyes meet, I’m gonna cry and run away. “I’m married.” BOOM! My heart is shatters, my stomach is turning and twisting into the tightest knot known to man. Morrea will laugh at me as if it’s a joke. Puke because it’s disgusting. Force me out of his house. Poor holy water on me. I had a gut feeling my death would be to the hands of an angel.
“Oh.” Morrea says with surprisement. “I didn’t expect that.”
“I know! But I do love him Morrea, I feel horrible for cheating on him. But I love you both equally, and I can’t leave him because I don’t want to hurt him, or leave my family or my kids-”
“Theodore, it’s okay.” Morrea smiles and stands up, going behind me and massaging my shoulders. “I’m fine with it, I still want to do this.”
Shocking answer, I must say. Morrea is an angel, even though he doesn’t completely agree with his father and brothers, I assumed that Morrea would completely drop this relationship because I am a married man. “I’ll need to tell him.” I whisper.
“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” Morrea says and smiles to me. That demonic angel. I ease with this news, and maybe Morrea is right. Maybe I can balance this life. I know if I tell Randy I’ll lose him and he will never forgive me, so maybe…
“You are a bad influence for an angel.” I kiss Morrea’s cheek, pull away to start actually cooking these pancakes for our breakfast.
Morrea leans against the counter and watches me from behind. He laughs and smiles, and I know I have been proven wrong. I won’t lose Morrea, and I won’t have to. And I won’t lose Randy, and I won’t have to. I am a demon, what can I say? I can’t control my desires, my nature, my soul, my fate. But I can control the now, and the now I say that I can and will balance both loves of my life. If the truth leaks out to Randy, then I will fight for him. I will keep my family and my lovers. I may be an Incubus but I have a heart, and my choice is right for me.